What's the Truth About True Love?

"All you need is love." 

So say the Beatles, and as everyone knows, they're a great authority on life philosophy! 

The trouble with the quote above isn't that it's wrong. It's that it isn't specific enough. Looked at one way, all you really need is love—but what kind of love? Whose love? 

One of my favorite movies is the cult classic The Princess Bride. True love is a big deal in that film—it's the driving force behind the main characters' actions, and spurs a whole handful of cheesy and memorable quotes. "Love," says the Venerable Clergyman in his distinctive voice, "true love will follow you forever."

But while the idea of true love has infiltrated our society's media, do we actually know what it is? 

As Christians, this question is extremely important. The first and greatest commandment in the whole Bible is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind," and the second is to "love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:37-38) 

If we're going to do what the Lord wants us to, then we've definitely got to learn what love means! 

The answer is found in Jesus's perfect example, and in several passages about love in the Bible: true love is sacrifice. 

And I'm going to illustrate this with a famous section of Scripture about love: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

 

Love is patient and kind

Patience, and kindness. Both great things, of course. If you love someone, you'll overlook their faults, and speak to them gently and kindly—lovingly. You won't bully them or make them feel worthless. 

How does this demonstrate sacrifice? 

Well, patience is hard. It's so easy to read a verse saying "love is patient" without actually remembering how hard it is to be patient with someone when you don't feel like it! 

Imagine you haven't slept well. And that your coffee machine is broken, so you're just feeling dead tired. 

Then imagine your friend or sibling comes in and starts talking to you. No preamble; they just start a conversation with you about whatever's on their mind. It's not relevant to you. They just want to talk—and you can tell that they aren't listening to whatever you have to say. 

Don't you feel like you have the right to be impatient? 

And wouldn't it feel so good to snap at them for how annoying they're being? 

Love sacrifices that instinct. With the help of the Holy Spirit (because let's be real, none of us can do this alone), we give up that "right" to release all our negative emotions onto the person we're loving. 

It's a real sacrifice. We're dying to sin, but we're living in Christ. 

That's how we love someone.

 

It is not arrogant or rude.

Arrogance and rudeness are both pride, and pride feels really really good. 

A loving person is not one who is arrogant. They don't put others down to lift themselves up—no, they humble themselves in order to bring others higher. 

Isn't that a sacrifice? 

We want recognition for our efforts. It's natural to us; if we work hard, and if we're actually good at something, then we really do want people to notice. 

But that isn't loving when taken too far. Don't constantly shove your talents and successes in other people's faces—that sends the message that you only care about yourself. That's pride. 

Sacrificing that pride is the way to love others. Focus on them, not yourself. Don't force them to praise you. 

Die to pride. 

 

It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.

A loving person doesn't always get what they want. 

Granted, unloving people also don't get what they want—that's a fact of humanity. But what sets the loving person apart is their reaction.

Love does not insist on its own way. It's fine if it doesn't have something, and it'll love you anyway. 

And it's not resentful about it. 

Sometimes, when a decision doesn't go my way, I tell myself not to worry. That I won't always have everything in life, and that I'd better get used to it, because it's not loving to keep arguing. 

But often I find myself clinging on to the resentment afterwards. And that isn't love at all. 

Love doesn't hold grudges. It sacrifices its own interests for the interests of others—and it does so gladly, because a loving person genuinely wants to see other people happy. 

 

It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Worldly people rejoice at wrongdoing. You see it everywhere—on social media, in the workplace, even with your friends at school. We laugh at those who do wrong, and glory in their sin. 

And since we want to be accepted, we typically laugh right along with them. 

That's unloving. Because we shouldn't rejoice at wrongdoing—that's sin, plain and simple! A crime against our Father. 

Love sacrifices worldly popularity, and seeks after the truth. The truth needs to be told, or nobody will ever be drawn to Christ. 

And since a loving Christian desires others to come to know Christ as their Savior, we have no excuse not to rejoice in the truth. 

 

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Lastly, love sacrifices its comfort.

Love bears all things so that others may be blessed. Last-minute grocery runs, giving people rides, sitting with a friend in a time of grief to help bear their burden. 

Love believes all things by giving the benefit of the doubt to others: instead of assuming the worst, we can lovingly believe good things about other people. This doesn't mean naïvety—we are told to be "wise as serpents" in Matthew 10:16—but we are also told to be "innocent as doves" in that same passage. When possible, we should assume the best about the other person, and forgive them like Christ forgave us. 

Love hopes all things, and doesn't stop hoping when it seems like all hope is lost. Is a loved one an unbeliever? Never give up praying. The story isn't over. 

Love endures all things. Through thick and thin, sickness and health, plenty and want, love remains constant. It endures pain for the sake of its loved ones. 

It turns the other cheek when it's hurt.

 

Jesus endured so much for us. He endured the limitations of a mortal body. He endured public humiliation and the pain of flogging. He endured the cross, and all the agony and despair that came with it. 

Isn't this true love? 

Our example for love is Jesus. He is who we seek to emulate, and because he loved us we can love others. 

Our task is far easier than his was. But we can only do it by striving to abide in him, and know more and more of his love every day.