Admire the Word

“[The man] meditated in God's word because he loved it, and then loved it the more because he meditated in it. He could not have enough of it, so ardently did he love it: all the day was not too long for his converse with it. His main prayer, his noonday thought, his evensong were all out of Holy Writ; yea, in his worldly business he still kept his mind saturated with the law of the Lord. It is said of some men that the more you know them the less you admire them; but the reverse is true of God's word. Familiarity with the word of God breeds affection, and affection seeks yet greater familiarity. When "thy law," and "my meditation" are together all the day, the day grows holy, devout, and happy, and the heart lives with God.”

- Charles Spurgeon, The Treasury of David  

 

I often fear that I'm one of those men. That the more people know of me, the less they'll admire me. I want to be known—I need to be known—because what's the point of living in a world where nobody knows who you really are? But the more people know about me, the less they'll think of me; the less they'll want to think of me, or spend time with me.

So I push people away, and I draw them close. And I'm not sure what I really want out of them in the first place. 

The problem comes from my focus. In the article Letter to an Incomplete, Insecure Teenager, John Piper writes, "The highest mental health is not liking myself, but being joyfully interested in everything but myself." The best way to be happy is not to accept yourself for who you are, but it's to care more about everybody else. In other words, the less preoccupied you are with yourself, the more joyful you will be. 

Instead of worrying that the more people know me, the less they'll admire me, I ought to focus on the second part of the quote, which is the actual point of Spurgeon's words. "The reverse is true of God's word."

The more I know of God's word, the more I will admire it. The more I will love it, and the more I will live it. The response to my own insecurities and fears is not to accept or even improve myself—that's a vicious cycle that won't let you go until you crack to bits under the pressure. Instead, I ought to delight in God's word, and delight in it enough that I'm wrapped up in it, and my identity crisis is lost in the midst of the word of my Father who loves me more than anyone can ever know.